Sick

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For the [past month I have been sick. I cam down with Lofgrens Syndrome, a mild form of sarcoidosis, I have been out of work and laid up. As a result I have been reading lots of comics. Probably the amount of comics i would read if i wasnt interrupted by pesky disturbances like well work. It beats being on the internets all day, which leaves me feeling drained and useless, or watching tv, which does as well. I’ve read a bunch of old favorites, like the sand man and some new wonderfull books like Brandon Grahams King City and James Stokoes Orc Stain. I have been trying to veiw these books with a more critical eye, trying to glean what I can from their construction and hopefully start to convey that in the stuff I am doing.

One thing I have been trying to channel is some of the emotional turmoil being sick has caused me. I am unaccustomed to being unable to move myself of feeling trapped in my body. I am also extremely dissatisfied with what i am doing right now and the thought that returning to health means returning to that stuck me is some pretty dark places. I did manage to focus that dark place into an actual start to a story I had been trying to put down on paper for years. Whether or not it is going to just die there remains to be seen but it is a start. I have a bout 6-7 pages drawn and inked, they are for three different stories and they still need to be laid out and lettered. I have a good number thumb-nailed and it feels like i am actually starting to gain some momentum. Focusing is really hard for me and I’m pretty sure comics will never pay my rent but maybe someday they might pay my grocery bill which is very high as anyone who has ever seen me or my girlfriend eat will attest. I think the trick is finding something that will take care of the rest and not cause me to feel like ever moment is wasted.

Looking at my poor journal here I have determined that I need to put more art up here and get more people to look at it and tear it apart. I am lazy and for an art blog there sure are a lot of words. I may need to lay down the law for myself and make it so I post what I did every friday night and make a rule that i get no beer or booze until I put whatever i’ve done in the week up,regardless of quality.

Time is so slippery. Each second that passes represents a a smaller and smaller fraction of your life. Rapidly accelerating to a blur. It becomes hard to find room for everything. I wise teenager once said on his day off “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

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