Notes about living on Mars:

When a package arrives on your door step full of pictures of your roommate and earths premiere martian moon snowboarder and he tells you that they have her kidneys in a box in New York, Its a good rule of thumb that any kind of scavenger hunt they send you on will a) end in black mail b) end in tragedy.

Martian moons are shit places to live. Seriously, who wants to live in New Providence. This is why your roommates keep moving to New Baltimore on the martian surface. Near earth like gravity, water, m-type atmosphere, and prostitution is leagal.

On that note: martian whores are absolutely stunning, will tell you they love you, take your money, and move right back to Earth as soon as the fucking can.

And who could possibly blame them! There are things living under the sand that will strip you to bones in seconds. Thats why the company pays the miners so much.